A question of trust

The conversation in the comboxes has been especially interesting in the last few days, given the YFE in Mexico in which Fr Evaristo Sada offered an apology of sorts (to a large crowd of current members of the Movement) which some think ought to be taken at face value as turning a corner. Perhaps, but a wise reader threw in the well-known image of Charlie Brown, Lucy and the football which is a classic tale of disappointed hope. We have the sincere inflections of sorrow (by Fr. Sada), the promise of transparency (by the Legion hierarchy) and a history of landing flat on our backs -- so what has changed?

Aaron Loughery has graciously offered an important point of departure in assessing whether things have changed. This is a letter he wrote concerning his sexual abuse in the Legion, which was delivered to Fr Alvaro last year.

Dear Alvaro Corcuera,

I have been following very closely recent developments in the Legion regarding Marcial Maciel over the past few months, indeed years. Recently Juan Jose Vaca spoke to me about your recent phone call with him. This has prompted me to write to you directly.

I was a legionary for five years - two years in Dublin and three in Salamanca. In 2001 I made a complaint to Luis Garza Medina about sexual misconduct of Fr. Eoghan Devlin LC (no longer a priest). I made this complaint with the assistance of the vicar general of my Diocese - Down and Connor.  The Legion’s response at this time to my detailed complaint of sexual abuse was inadequate and hurtful. The Legion of Christ simply asked Fr. Eoghan Devlin if what I said was true. Of course he denied this and the Legion simply believed him and asked me “how could I come up with such a story”.

I retreated into myself and continued to try and heal through counselling, provided by Faoiseamh, an Irish Charity for those abused by Clergy. This charity is funded by CORI - Conference of Religious in Ireland, and by some catholic dioceses.

The fact that Fr. Eoghan Devlin LC - in spite of my serious complaint against him - was still allowed to exercise authority as a superior in Medellin, as director of the senior and junior school there, as the head of the junior RC section  made me sick. I worried so much that he would continue to hurt other trusting young men.

In 2005 this led me to report my complaint again, but this time to the Irish Police. I was encouraged and assisted to do so by the Child Protection Services of the Dublin Archdiocese. This was a very big decision for me to make - the prospect of going to court, of having to tell publicly what happened to me etc was very frightening. Nevertheless, I decided that I could not live with the fear that Eoghan Devlin would continue to abuse - that he “got off” with it.

Again the Legion of Christ’s response was inadequate. Luis Garza Medina phoned me within 24 hours of knowing that I had made my complaint to the police and he told me on the phone that the Legion had never had a complaint of sexual abuse brought to them before my complaint, and that the Legion of Christ did not know how to behave appropriately.  I do not believe for one moment that the Legion of Christ had not had any complaints about sexual abuse brought to them. I know that Luis Medina Garza lied to me.

Further correspondence from the Legion, by Raymond Cosgrave, was also misleading and deceptive - the legion invited me to speak with an “independent person” for the purposes of information gathering. The Legion mentioned the name of the person as Johanna Merry but failed to point out that Johanna Merry is usually referred to as Dr. Johanna Merry and is a psychologist. It also failed to mention that it was paying Dr. Merry.

When I found out this information, my  mistrust of the Legion prompted me to reject these requests. Why would the Legion employ a psychologist for the purposes of information gathering and not disclose that this person is a psychologist? Why not, for example, appoint a notary or solicitor to gather the information? I had already provided the Legion with very detailed information - I was satisfied that they had more than enough information on which to act. Was the Legion trying to evaluate me psychologically without me knowing?

I had made the same detailed complaint to the police and local health services. Why did I need to make it again, in person, to the Legion when the Legion had rejected my complaint, when the director general of the legion - a known child abuser - was still in charge of the Legion?

The Legion of Christ also rejected my many requests in my correspondence with you. I requested that you send me a copy of your protocol regarding your process upon receiving complaints about sexual abuse. By 2005 I know for a fact there were other cases of similar complaints. I felt that my correspondence to the Legion of Christ was unanswered and ignored.

I learnt that in Medellin, where Fr. Eoghan Devlin LC was working, a letter was sent by the directors of the male and female schools to all the families of the schools that they were not to believe any false rumours that were circulating and that they should only accept the truth from the directors themselves. I know that Eoghan was removed from his ministry because of the police investigation, and I know that that was made known to some families in Medellin. Families were told that Eoghan had left to go home to visit his family, that there was illness in his family in Ireland.

The Legion and RC members in Colombia told lies about this situation to the families of the children in their care. Your duty was to make everyone know about my allegations so that other victims might have the courage to come forward and offer full support to them.

I wonder why you covered up with lies the truth about Eoghan Devlin to the families in Medellin.  I learnt that Eoghan left the priesthood and the Legion of Christ, and even though the department of public prosecution deemed that there was not enough evidence - actually this was a relief for me - I found some closure in knowing that Eoghan was no longer working with children nor could be protected by the Legion.  Nevertheless I was worried that he once again lived in the same country as me - would I bump into him? Would he look for me? I learnt also that he was receiving a substantial monthly payment from the Legion of Christ. This angered me.

Going to the police and thereby removing Eoghan from ministry and taking him away from children really meant a lot to me. This helped me heal. It is unfortunate that I had to go the police in order for this to happen. I hoped that my initial complaint in 2001 would have done this. Indeed if you had acted properly at that time, this part of my healing would have taken place sooner.  In my detailed complaint I made known my concerns about intergenerational abuse in the Legion. I will reiterate my concerns to you now, upon learning of a possible new generation of abusers in your institute.

In your phone call to Juan Jose Vaca you ask for forgiveness from Juan Jose Vaca for what Marcial did to him and the others. You have not said this directly, but you imply that you acknowledge that Maciel sexually abused him and the others as children and young adults. If you believe this - I can only presume so as you have never said this - then you will share my concerns.

Here is how I see the chain of abuse:

• Marcial Maciel sexually abused Guillermo Izquierdo as a child. Other victims of abuse are witnesses to this - they have told me this directly, in first hand.
• Guillermo Izquierdo sexually abused Patrick M Keane, again he told me this in first hand.
• Guillermo Izquierdo was sexually inappropriate with Isaac Chute, whom he asked to strip naked in his bedroom and wait on his kneeler for Guillermo to inspect him. This was given as a penance in confession. Again Brother Isaac has corresponded about this to me directly. Brother Isaac was a novice with Eoghan Devlin.
• Eoghan Devlin made his novitiate under a known sexual abuser, in an environment where minor sexual abuse took place. I believe that Eoghan Devlin was sexually abused. This explains to me how he copied the abuse that Maciel subjected his victims to. Eoghan also mentioned to me that Maciel treated Eoghan specially when he visited the LC in Dublin. Perhaps Maciel abused Eoghan as well.
• Fr. Robert Sloan LC has recently - months ago - been accused of asking highly sexually inappropriate questions to the children and adolescents he worked with in the Instituto Irlandes in Mexico DF. These detailed questions about sexual fantasy, about the size of the children’s’ penises etc are an echo of the questions that Eoghan Devlin asked me in his process of preparing me - grooming me - for abuse. As I mentioned in my detailed complaint Eoghan asked me questions like this. Robert Sloan was a novice with me, Eoghan Devlin was his novice superior. The news of Robert Sloan has greatly upset me and caused me considerable anxiety.

I want you to know that my life has been interrupted greatly since I joined and subsequently left the Legion. I am still at counselling, still have nightmares, am still trying to understand the effects of sexual abuse on me and all my relationships.  I turned to other exlegionaries for help and support, and found over and over again so many hurt people. The website www.exlegionaries.com was a great help and resource to me - when the Legion of Christ shut this website down I was once again hurt. It is a great shame that you denied so many people a means to heal. In the light of recent developments and acknowledgment of Maciel’s plagiarism,  I would hope you allow that website to be restored as it was originally and repay the legal costs to those affected.

I am angry, and it is so unfair that my life is still on hold. What do I have to do to heal? What do I need to change my life and live again? When will the Legion and Fr. Eoghan be a closed chapter in my past?

As a victim, I believe that the following will help me greatly:

• A sincere and detailed apology. An apology which acknowledges and names the wrongs made to me by the Legion. This must include an admission that I was abused and that my reporting of this abuse was mistreated by the Legion.

• I believe that you should make a substantial financial contribution to the organisations that have paid for my counselling over the years. I have been fortunate enough in that I have received high quality and very helpful counselling for free since 2001. I am angered that the resources of charitable people and organisations are being used by me when I feel you should be paying for this.

• I believe you should make financial restitution for the effect my abuse and the Legion’s response to my complaints have had on me and continue to have on me.

Alvaro, I too was a Legionary of Christ. I blindly and devotedly followed Marcial Maciel, I  believed his every word and held him to be a living Saint. I ate the scraps off his plate when I served him as guest waiter. I cried thinking about what the sacrifices he made in his life.

I would have died for the Legion.

Like you, I have learnt a different story about Maciel. I learnt about his excessive luxurious lifestyle, about his sexual abuse, about his disregard for anyone around him, his drug use, his lying, his not writing his famous Cartas, Salterio etc. and so much more.  Please believe me when I tell you that finding out the truth was a terribly painful experience for me. My whole world fell down.

I do not want any of this pain any longer - I want you in the name of the Legion to respond adequately to my complaint of abuse and help me forget about the Legion and forget about what happened.

Give me resolution.

I can attest to the fact that the Legion did in fact have other accusations against other members during this time, which it dismissed in the same way. "It couldn't have happened as you described," and "You imagined the entire event" were the two firm responses the young man I met received, and his accusation only led to further psychological abuse by his superiors, including total isolation and shunning by his peers. Father Bannon himself was dispatched to take care of this matter.

Another letter will be posted in a separate post which gives important details, and most importantly:

• shows that the abuse Aaron suffered was detail for detail exactly like what MM did to his victims;
• shows that there were patterns of abuse for years;
• shows that the control of letters was specifically to keep news of accusations against MM from reaching the Legionaries inside and concerns of the seminarians from leaking out;
• shows that the Legion was expert at managing who was primed for sexual contact and who was problematic;
• shows why the exlegionaries discussion board HAD to be shut down for the Legion's own survival;
• shows that the intensely religious atmosphere coupled with abuse took advantage of the sincerity, authentic charity and transparency of the seminarians for wicked ends;
• shows how the very faith and integrity of the victims was shredded so that they were later compromised as credible witnesses.

Consider how the Legion maligned the accusers as "liberals," "ex-priests" and "enemies of the Church." The critical elements in Aaron's letter show exactly how one lost faith in "the system," or "the Church" that covered up such vile actions. Do you see how it comes full circle, so that one has to turn to the National Catholic Reporter, the Boston Globe or the New York Times to give one any honest details about corruption in the corridors of Holy Mother Church? Do you understand the complicity of the Congregation for Religious (especially Cardinal Rode) in masking this wretched poison for years?

And for those who want us to trust the Legion, and their crocodile tears about how "we're really sorry now, and have learned humility through this trial of being 'shocked' about our founder" -- do you have a clue why we don't believe a word of it?

Aaron's letter was delivered months ago. His accusations were made years ago. He has heard nothing and the Legion acted as if all of these stunning revelations have laid an enormous burden on THEM. Basta.

Comments

[In RC But Not Of It]

Well, Fr. Alvaro, what is your answer?

[m]

Aaron,

Thank you for your courage.
I am completely sickened to know what you went through.

I am outraged, disgusted and horrified to know that your plea, and the pleas of others went, not only ignored, but turned around to make you into the villian.

The whole thing is getting worse as the truth comes out. More & more sinful - I see at least a triple sin - the abuse, the coverup, the villifying.

[Lauretta]

I want to thank you as well, Aaron, for your courage and honesty. We can only pray that others will follow your lead and bring these facts to light, hopefully to get this group to finally publicly acknowledge the truth. Then we pray that all of you who have been so harmed can experience some closure and peace.

[Lauretta]

Now here is an apology:
http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/6656/

[White Tree]

Thank you, Aaron, for your heartfelt letter and courage. I am so sorry for you and for all the years you have had to endure such pain. I pray that you will have the resolution you seek!

Your posts have provided healing to so many who come here, and I pray for your complete healing very soon.

[Aaron]

Genevieve, thank you so much for putting my letters on your blog. It is unfortunate - distressing for me - that I have to resort to public forums to try and prevent further abuse.

It has really affected me to learn about my fellow novice, Fr. Robert Sloan LC and his repeating the questions that I was asked by our novice master.

It makes me think of Fr. Eoghan Devlin as a Novice... at what point did he become a victim turned victimiser? When and how could this have been prevented?

I worry that Fr. Robert has abused children, I hope and hope that his questions were only asked because he learnt them as acceptable questions and that he didn't have any ulterior motives. But I cannot hope this idly.

I need to stress that Fr. Robert Sloan LC - apparently now somewhere in USA - has NOT been accused of actual sexual abuse. He may be as much a victim as the rest of us and because of his malformation and living in an abusive novitiate he may have unknowingly crossed boundaries of decency and appropriateness with no intention of abuse.

But knowing the history of the Legion... it is hard to take a chance like that. What happens next?

I have tried to prevent abuse by hoping the LC superiors take action. They haven't and they won't.

I have gone public as much as I can to try and prevent people entering the novitiate - it seems like an extreme, but what can I do? I cannot hope that the abuse will somehow end.

[Mary Ann]

Aaron, thank you. The worst abuse committed against you was the "formation" that made you have to respond in the way you did at the time the crime against you was committed. Even the categories by which you judged and felt things, and later the categories by which you tried to make sense of them, were implanted by the Legion. That is why at the time of the letter you were still conflicted. Your child (and you were still a child, because of the formation) self had no choice but to believe deeply as you believed. I am so glad that you are delivered, and I want to say that people who emerge from the Legion have to do much the same for recovery as children raised by abusive parents.

The only thing "vulgar" about the letter would be the nose in the air reaction to it of people without the maturity to perceive the heart of a young man undergoing this deception and torture. If people have to avoid the facts, then I guess they will have to stare them in the face when Christ comes, and it will be a lot more painful then. "They will look upon Him whom they have pierced."

Christ said that what goes into a man does not render a man unclean, only what comes out of a man. The "vulgarity" - really, the evil, vulgarity just refers to taste - is in the perpetrator, not the facts and not the victim.

[Mum26]

Aaron,
you have courage, so much courage to come forward and tell the truth. The Holy Spirit is guiding you into the Truth. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and He will give you healing. It has begun, and it will continue. Take heart!

What particularly resonated with me was your description of feeling like a lion caught in a cage. I used to describe myself as a tiger in a cage, pacing back and forth, depression, suicidal attacks, anxiety......

My hope is that through your example you have encouraged more men to come forward with their stories.

Prayerfully through the protection of the Blessed Mother and the guidance of the Holy Angels...

[Ohh]

Aaron you are a man of great courage and conviction. It is obvious why they thought you didn't have a vocation as a legionary. How could they have dealt with this honesty and strength of character? Although it was very difficult to be asked to leave what a blessing it truly was.
Unfortunately, it raises the question of why did they keep the other men?
Were they easier to control and use? Have they, like your abuser, gone on to control, distort and abuse others? Aside from the horror of sexual abuse all the rest of the story is so terribly disrespectful of the human person - god's creation.
This legion truly is the devil maciel's and NOT Christ's.

[mExRC]

Aaron, thank you.

Your courage, honesty and good will inspire many of us here, and your words shine bright in striking contrast to the pathetic, qualified, insincere pseudo-apologies by the legion higher-ups.

The full truth will be known someday.

[Back to Basics]

I could only read the first half of the second letter and that was enough to make me want to cry and cry and cry. I have three sons and the thought of the abuse Aaron suffered fills my heart with agony.

Though I have never met Aaron or any of the other victims, I want to apologise personally for that time in my life when I believed those who had been abused were lying and were trying to destroy the Legion. I especially apologise for spouting the party line to other members when I was section assistant and members came and asked me whether it was true. It was so wrong of me to make any comment whatsoever, let alone repeat that the 'stories' weren't true. I am so sorry for all you suffered because of these evil priests, because of the Legion, and because of the disbelief of so many others. And I am so so sorry for my part in it. I pray for truth, and justice and full healing.

[jane]

Like others have commented, I feel like weeping. I am so sorry for your experience, Aaron, and I am so in awe of your courage in facing your ordeal. You will have a big place in my prayers.

I also confess to feeling really angry that over the past days, we have been drawn into silly sideshows with the Monk and Haily, who show up at Life After RC to question our attitudes towards the LC/RC, accusing us of being uncharitable, all the while expressing their breezy optimism that all can be reformed. I dare the Monk to chime in now about how the theft of Aaron's cow can lead to the greatest blessings in his life. Haily can rejoice that she has experienced such good fruits in her life.

giselle, I will never be able to thank you enough for this site and for all you do. you are an amazing Catholic woman.

[m]

Mum26 you bring up a very good point "Unfortunately, it raises the question of why did they keep the other men?"

I felt the same way toward the women in the section who got chosen to be the leaders when they clearly weren't leaders at all. I think the more "sanguine" and less analytical, the higher you'll move up. I think that's why there was always such a strong push for everyone to attend the "temperament God gave you" talks. It was always put out there as a fun exercise to improve your relationships, but I really believe there was a sinister motivation to it.

It seems more & more like Lc/Rc is like living in a place where there's a one-way mirror with the legion & Rc leaders watching every move unbeknownst to all the rank & file.

It's very heartbreaking to think that the women who were high up the food chain were most likely lying through their teeth the entire time they opened their mouths.

[Anon2010]

Aaron, this is exactly the reason I have no patience for those who are so quick to claim people on this blog aren't charitable. Those bastards make me sick!

[giselle]

Amen, Anon2010. These people and their close association with LC's and 3gf's all provide an end-run around honesty, which their children perceive. And what will their children learn from such stifling of any genuine reactions?

Remember, these are the same people who say we must support the Legion because of all the corruption in the dioceses, and they grumble and fret because the bishops dropped the ball about priest abuse. The irony makes the Head. Explode.

[The Monk]

Aaron - thank you for your courage. I agree with the sentiments expressed by those who have read your moving and heartbreaking account.

The only thing I would ask, and maybe this is not the place, is that you pursue your case in the civil forum. God knows the Church (powerful, male, celibates) has engaged for too long in cover ups and protection. Don't expect the support you deserve from the clergy nor from the Legion. This, as you say, will not be easy for you. Be brave - you have the support of so many. Maybe this can eventually help your healing. If anything we have learned about the sexual abuse scandals it is this: nothing much will happen, nor will changes be made until victims press their charges in a civil forum.

My heart goes out to you. Count on my support and poor prayers. I wish I could say more. God Bless.

[giselle]

And echoing BtB, I humbly apologise for all the flag waving and cheer leading I did over the years for this group, essentially throwing good men like Aaron, Juan, Arturo, Jose, etc. under the bus. Mea maxima culpa.

[Anon2010]

"Remember, these are the same people who say we must support the Legion because of all the corruption in the dioceses, and they grumble and fret because the bishops dropped the ball about priest abuse. The irony makes the Head. Explode."

Yes! Giselle! Spot on!

I humbly apologize to all the victims for my flag waving too. I am ashamed!

[Xavier]

There has been two cases of sex abuse in the apostolic school of Mery-sur-Marne, in France. Two different brothers. One of them was French, and made his noviciat with me, in Italy. And, in the same way, the Legion covered up the whole issue, and was able to make the families keep silent.
One day, I will have to tell the story...
Thank you Aaron, for your testimony. I am going to publish it on exlcblog.info.

[Aaron]

Xavier, I am so sorry to hear about that.

Everyone - my only concern has been to stop this evil. I know - and luckily so - that I have great support in my home and family life, I also have access to professional help whenever I need it, and I have many angels such as Paul Lennon, Juan Vaca, Jose Barba, Patrico Cerda (and his adorable wife) not to mention Glenn and so many others who are there for me.

I have never needed in the help department, although I must say that it can really be very lonely.

I fear so much that abuse will continue because of my silence.

This is not ordinary, this is not confined to one building or diocese - this is global on a legion scale.

Monk, thank you for your words and yes civil cases would be great except they are traumatic and what would I gain?

I want to stop abuse, and I want to heal myself. I believe I can do both without lawyers, great expenses and trauma and courts.

I have a plan, a simple plan to rest my conscience that I can do all that I can to stop anybody going through what happened to me:

Awareness - let the public know so they can better deicde to support or join the Leigon.

Awareness - I want to get in touch with all of those that I can who were in my novitiate. I believe that if they can read my story they will know about the abusive environment we all shared (I say this because it was hidden and internalised for all of us) and that they can hopefully end the cycle through understanding.

Maciel was so adamant to prevent us knowing the content of the Hartford Courant articles because he knew it would blow the lid on his lies to his victims and the victims of other generations and open a time bomb.

I believe that the knowledge of what happened - of what he did and of what his successors did - will undo his evil.

Truth, truth will set us free.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and prayers, they really really mean a lot to me.

[CindyB]

Thanks for sharing this very painful story, Aaron. It needs to be told!

You will be in my prayers for resolution to this nightmare. I pray that in the near future these horrible memories will no longer haunt your daily activities.

[Aaron]

Thank you Cindy, to be honest it is the fight to stop the abuse that is incringing in my daily activities - my conscience is afflicted by a voice urging me to act.

If I didn't have to worry about other abusers, about new generations, about coverups and enabling then I believe I could have a legion-free day or week or life.

And that truly isnt fair.

[Basta!]

Aaron-The first time I read your testimony was on exlegionaries.com and I was floored. Reading it again today was like reopening a wound. If I feel like a victim and I was only a manipulated RCmember- I cannot even fathom what it must be like for you- you will be forever in my prayers.
I hope you don't mind, but I copied and pasted your testimony on "trastevere" and it really caused quite a stir, especially since that Robert Sloane guy is being "praised and hailed" as the super priest in the school that he teaches and there are several bloggers on Trastevere who have accused him of sexual misconduct.
When will this ever end?

[So Sad]

Thank you Aaron for allowing us to read your story. I am going to make copies and keep in my purse for the next time I bump into a fellow 'Sister in Christ' who trys to promote another Rc event with a flyer, I'll have mine to hand her. These letters will make a difference!! Even if it helps from preventing just one young man from entering the legion, it was well worth going public. Thank you, thank you. You are in my prayers.

[Anon out of RC]

Thank you for sharing the truth of your story Aaron. It was extremely painful to read...my heart and prayers go out to you.

The truth will set all of us free!