Parental warning about SD

I'm going to let the original thread slip back to its place here (and I'll include it in the sidebar on the left for your convenience) and we'll continue the discussion here with this warning as a start:

A couple of points for what they're worth:

1. Whatever it's called -- spiritual direction, guidance or counseling by consecrated women -- it's not under the Confessional seal, which is BTW two-way. So the consecrated are quite at liberty to tell LCs anything and everything about their charges, and they do, and they surely tell their fellow consecrated and others in the Movement also. It's all fodder for profiling a family to orchestrate their approach to them to get more, always more, time, talent and treasure from them.

2. The direction/guidance/counsel offered is consistent with LC/RC MO because it's meant to advance LC/RC, *not* care for souls. An anecdote: my two eldest daughters got tangled up in Challenge. My eldest daughter had as a "spiritual director" a consecrated woman. This spiritual director advised my eldest daughter once that her obedience to the Kingdom demanded that she disobey her parents if their expectations of her diverged from the consecrated's counsel (indeed they did). In an instant, I pulled that plug -- I'm glad my daughter told me; now, she is, too -- no more Challenge.

The more my daughter told the consecrated -- and I have little idea what she told her -- the more the dynamic of RC approach to us as a family, individually, shifted. But the trajectory was clear: get my son to the New Hampshire proto-seminary, gouge money and time commitment from the parents, escalate my daughters' involvement in Challenge and beyond. The simplest answer by a kid or a parent to such pressure is this: "that's a volunteer effort and I'm not volunteering anything." But the smarmy arm-twisting weakens most and they succumb.

I have heard countless alarming stories over the years, similar to this and in different contexts, which make it absolutely certain that the primary point of SD is not spiritual formation but manipulation for Legion ends. Parents must know this.

The direction is not entirely confidential, and details have been known to spread immediately to priests and even the wider section. The conversations with potential recruits (esp. children) is done as an end-run around parents if the parents have either 1. indicated through their own sd that they don't want to let the kids join the group; or 2. not joined the group themselves or are not Catholic. This is frightful.

Even more, when parents pull their kids from programs or even bring them home from Apostolic Schools/pre-candidacy programs, the group finds ways to stay in touch -- either on private cells, facebook, or through intermediaries. If the child came home unwillingly, please know that s/he will find ways to connect and mentally stay integrated behind the parents' backs. This is insidious -- for the bottom line transmitted is to not trust parents or non-LC priests.

Please take this into consideration as you choose your summer camps, assess the seemingly harmless apostolates and most importantly schools for next fall. The Legion is crumbling, but in six months only the die-hards will remain (if the group is still up and running). We pray for MM's grip to be purged eventually, but until they have proven to let the methodology go, you must be aware of how toxic and confusing these SD sessions are for kids -- and they are an integral part of their formation. 

Comments

[Claire]

Posted this on the other thread as well:

On "spiritual direction" -- Here is one of my favorite antidotes to the "reign of legion" mindset:

"A Short Road to Perfection"

by

The Venerable John Henry Cardinal Newman

September 27, 1856

"IT is the saying of holy men that, if we wish to be perfect, we have nothing more to do than to perform the ordinary duties of the day well. A short road to perfection—short, not because easy, but because pertinent and intelligible. There are no short ways to perfection, but there are sure ones.

"I think this is an instruction which may be of great practical use to persons like ourselves. It is easy to have vague ideas what perfection is, which serve well enough to talk about, when we do not intend to aim at it; but as soon as a person really desires and sets about seeking it himself, he is dissatisfied with anything but what is tangible and clear, and constitutes some sort of direction towards the practice of it.

"We must bear in mind what is meant by perfection. It does not mean any extraordinary service, anything out of the way, or especially heroic—not all have the opportunity of heroic acts, of sufferings—but it means what the word perfection ordinarily means. By perfect we mean that which has no flaw in it, that which is complete, that which is consistent, that which is sound—we mean the opposite to imperfect. As we know well what imperfection in religious service means, we know by the contrast what is meant by perfection.

"He, then, is perfect who does the work of the day perfectly, and we need not go beyond this to seek for perfection. You need not go out of the round of the day.

"I insist on this because I think it will simplify our views, and fix our exertions on a definite aim. If you ask me what you are to do in order to be perfect, I say, first—Do not lie in bed beyond the due time of rising; give your first thoughts to God; make a good visit to the Blessed Sacrament; say the Angelus devoutly; eat and drink to God’s glory; say the Rosary well; be recollected; keep out bad thoughts; make your evening meditation well; examine yourself daily; go to bed in good time, and you are already perfect."

[anonymous]

Fatima's "daily duty" lack of glamour made me wince a little in my youth. But it is the core of union with God...of perfection.
In terms of God's will for me (what great thing lies ahead?)just "take the next good step"...as I think Fr. Groeschel has put it.
Not easy, but simple, as true spiritual life is simple.

[Grateful Mother]

My daughter attended L/C school and was indeed having S/D.She was asked about EVERY DETAIL of our family life including what TV shows we watched.When asked about S/D she told me it was PRIVATE.
I forbid S/D and thats when we found out L/C was a very EVIL machine.THEY WANTED MY DAUGHTER and it was like a CUSTODY battle L/C--School VS my husband and I.Yes and we PAID for this STRESS it was the most EVIL thing we ever went through.
Because of this we pulled her out of School and changed our phone no.
Thank the LORD we got out.

[Bigtex]

When I volunteered with Regnum almost every talk touched on the need to completely reveal my conscience in spiritual direction. I resisted this but finally trusted that this was God's way for me so I did it. The next day the directress publically referred to my most personal confidences in a public talk to a group of other ladies. She actually mentioned my name and the contents of my SD.

When I told the priest, he said if I think she has harmed me I must forgive her. That was that.

The only other time I attempted SD was years later when I was married with a baby. I was told that I must leave my baby in a room for eight hours at a time with the door closed so that I can have time for apostolate.

I wasn't a very integrated member; I refused spiritual direction after that.

[Anonymous]

Giselle and others,

Isn't what you're describing (so-called "spiritual direction") a kind of brainwashing technique?

If so, it's another Catholic concept twisted to fit the marketing model of the Reign of Legion.

It also sounds (via comments of Grateful Mother, BigTex and others) as if conscience and common sense are the best protection against this kind of brainwashing.

[nat]

Giselle,

This is from 2 very different contexts (links below), but do you think this term 'anorexia of the soul' describes the hollowing out that LC/RC's focus on outward efficiency over pastoral care is doing?

"For girls, I use this term 'anorexia of the soul,' which I first read in a New York Times article. What I understand it to mean is that this girl is wasting away on the inside. She’s obsessed with surface—being the best student, or the fastest runner—but inside, her sense of self is undernourished, it’s starving. She doesn’t realize it because people keep praising her for being the top student or the fastest runner, and her sense of self gets tied up in that surface."

http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/05/03/gender-expert-leonard-sax-on-the-empty-world-of-girls-impressing-each-other-with-sex-booze-and-facebook%E2%80%94while-parents-opt-out/2/

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/us/01girls.html?ex=1333080000&en=567d06edc5e9ad86&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

[SS]

That is a very interesting phrase (anorexia of the soul). I've not heard it before.

[Lauretta]

Nat,
Someone else you might enjoy reading who talks about a similar reality is Dr. Conrad Baars. He is trying to get people to understand the necessity of affirmation for healthy emotional development. Not the pop culture definition but the truth of the dignity and worth of the individual, not for what they do, but just because they ARE. I found his writings very helpful and they might be of value for those working through their experiences in Legion/Regnum. His works are very similar to JPII's personalism in my opinion.

[Further information]

http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/

[anon]

The most disturbing aspect of SD for me is that when I was in RC, I went through a huge crisis with my family -- caused by RC, btw. I talked for hours upon hours with my SD about it, and she "helped" me by listening and comforting me, and taking me under her wing.

More than 10 years later, while telling a current RC just a tidbit of the story, which I haven't shared with anyone, she finished it for me, down to the details, and told me that she already heard it at a RC retreat, although the name was not given.

"That's you," was her response, elated to know the Jane Doe behind such a heroic story of choosing God over family.

I was absolutely devastated. All that happened was very private. I haven't even spoken with my own family about it. Actually, I haven't told anyone about the details of what happened, but yet it's a well-known case study in RC!

[NTMB]

I second the praise of Dr. Baars' work which is being continued by his daughter, Sue.

http://www.conradbaars.com/

and

http://www.conradbaars.com/SueBaarsBio.htm

[nat]

The expression appears to have been popularized around 2001 by a SF author:

http://web.archive.org/web/20010412181942/http://www.farbrengen.com/cgi-bin/article-archive/article.cgi?art_id=40

[logician]

"anorexia of the soul"... hmm, I say more like empty food that makes you hungrier though you eat it trying to satisfy your hunger. Has shown up in multiple fantasy/sci-fi novels if I'm not mistaken: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, A Wrinkle in Time... And of course, there's the ol' discussion of the God-shaped hole in each persons heart that only gets bigger if you try to dump anything but God into it. R/L is tricky there because it purports to be all about God.

[nat]

logician, Sure the phrase points to the spiritual starvation of activism. But the reference to 'anorexia' also situates that in the context of self-objectification and CULTural programming. As with the LC/RC.

[Love Christ]

Posted by: anon | May 12, 2010 at 12:46 PM

Your story sonds familiar. Can you imagine, hearing your situation (with names and details changed) which you were working through with an Regnum priest in SD, presented by a lay woman to a roomful of women as a joke and having all laugh about it?
Having your most private situation eluded to in encounter with women who you don't know well but live very close in your area? How could such a thing happen if one only opened one's soul to a SD , a priest?

[finally free]

When I went on a second degree retreat last year, my former spiritual guide had already left the Movement after the news about Maciel. The LC gave a play by play of her struggles over the past year that led to her leaving...basically blaming her husband. Because she & I were friends before I incorporated, I knew her family well and I was furious as I listened to the priest belittle her & her beautiful family.
I think that was really the beginning of the end for me...I knew the trust I once had was lost...

[Just wondering]

Giselle, aren't you Genieve Kenike? Just wondering why you don't use your real name.

[giselle]

I came out months ago. And it's Genevieve Kineke, thanks.

Found it: Sept 2009

http://www.life-after-rc.com/2009/09/time-to-come-clean.html

[Just wondering]

why do you use giselle??? or why have you been using giselle? Again, just wondering

[giselle]

Why don't you read the post I dug out for you? It's all explained there. You could ask the question a few more times if you like, though. Hard to discuss something when one party won't do his part...

[Just wondering]

SO Sorry about that!!! I did not see the link! I will read it... no offense, please! Literally I have wondered why. It seemed strange to me, but I thank you for the article you wrote... I will read it and be more informed...
Thanks!

[Sandie]

How do I leave the RC movement? How binding are the vows I took upon incorporation? Anything else I should know before I make known my desire to leave?