A long-time reader poses two important questions:
I am writing because I am writing a series on my blog about 'cult-life thinking' as I experienced YET ANOTHER cult experience after leaving RC. (You'd think I'd learn, right? ;) But I have gained so many blessings and insights into my own weakness through this last experience, which was actually a much worse personal experience than I had in RC as it was local and we were directly targeted when we left.
- I was wondering if you had some links I could refer to that are general principles of cults that I could link to (and also research) for my blog. I know you have extensive wisdom on this topic, and I am still stumbling through even my own insights, and would love some 'back up; and
- I would also like to ask you if you have heard of a sort of 'rebound' after leaving a cult (like RC) where someone ends up in the same ditch again... I find my last three years' experience interesting.
For starters, I will always recommend Steve Hasson's "Freedom of Mind" site, which is filled with exellent information, anecdotes and data on many cults. Another source is ICSA (International Cultic Studies Association) which has many ongoing activities, presentations, and workshops, as well as a comprehensive database. Their next international conference will be in Montreal this summer (5-7 July, 2012).
The reason these larger bodies help so much is that they show the common elements that create cultish environments. Regain and LARC have not charged this Movement with cultishness lightly. There is a wide body of research and documentation that stands behind such allegations, and the data from decades of evidence in this case allows certain conclusions to be drawn regarding the Legion. In that respect, cult awareness groups can be very helpful in dissecting one's experience -- although the healing process requires that a person set aside his/her prejudices and engage in a humble pursuit of wholeness.
If others want to provide more resources (books, sites, videos) in the comboxes, I'll bring them up and begin a list.
I found Carol's work at Refocus to be very helpful to me:
www.refocus.org
Posted by: Aaron | January 04, 2012 at 09:02 AM
Wow.... this is extremely helpful!!!!
Posted by: Shalimamma | January 04, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Me again ;) As I write my series on cult-like thinking, the threats have started coming in. I imagine a lot of this happened with people who left rc as well. There is so much fear in those who are attached the their mindset or way of life if it is unhealthy. I responded in humor today to some of the attacks, but another gentleman wrote a very intellectual response to 'the attacks'... Friends of mine have started getting calls and 'warnings', etc, and while I do chuckle because I don't see how I pose a threat to anyone by 'leaving a group and speaking of my own experience', it really is quite a sad thing to see them fearful in this way. I will be linking to your site as well, along the way in my series, as you offer so many helpful and universal tips that apply to more than just rc. I believe cult-like thinking (and groups) are one big way that satan has infiltrated the Church, and he wants to keep us enslaved, even if it is under the guise of 'being in the church and in a special group'. He has many tactics, and I believe he gets the 'ones striving for holiness' in this way, by elite groups. I am still learning so much! If anyone is interested in the series, it's at http://lifevictorious.com
Many blessings!
~shalimamma ;)
Posted by: Shalimamma | January 05, 2012 at 10:28 PM
Shal, I believe you hit the nail on the head referring to groups. Even with the protection of the Catholic Church it can't make them holier than others. Will God judge us as a group or on an individual level? I'm not saying that a group can't help an individual, but when ones identity and sanctity is wrapped up in the group rather than in God, this is where the danger lies.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 06, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Shalimammma,
I can't wait to read Part 4!
Posted by: Jeannette | January 06, 2012 at 11:47 AM
I am curious to know whether some or many of the young women leaving Regnum Christi are looking into religious life elsewhere, eg, becoming religious sisters. Does anyone know if this is happening?
Pax.
Posted by: RJH | January 06, 2012 at 01:06 PM
I don't know of a single ex-3gf who subsequently joined a legitimate Religious community, but then I only know a small number of women. I'd love to hear if others have done so, as well as to remind women who leave the third degree that there is a house that will take them in order to help them decide what to do next in life. Lovely [thriving] community on the east coast (but of course the women therein would never presume to know where these young women are called--it is simply for discernment purposes). Serious inquirers may contact me for details.
Posted by: giselle | January 06, 2012 at 01:57 PM
I hope and pray they do consider the religious life in a stable order. God knows we need good teaching sisters. They could get a solid formation at a place like the Dominicans in Ann Arbor, for instance and possibly the cloistered life for some of the older girls. We need their prayers and good works.
I fully realize they are coming out of a very confusing experience and may not be ready to to be thrust into another community and learn new ways.
15-20 years ago we X-ers were told if we thought we had a vocation and didn't use it for the Legion/RC we were risking our souls because, of course, "The Legion is THE order for THIS time." How many remember being sold on that (excuse me) bs?
I left the Legion after candidacy because something (that I couldn't put my finger on at the time) didn't sit right with me. Was it the robot-like interactions? The speaking of Nuestro Padre in hushed tones? Who knows! The experience (of leaving) left me badly damaged for many years because I believed if I couldn't fit the Legion mold there must be something terribly wrong with me. I subsequently made many wrong choices over the years having that opinion of myself.
God bless these young people as they leave.
Posted by: RJH | January 06, 2012 at 02:22 PM
My friend's sister's sister-in-law (lol) did go from 3gf to a cloistered order and I'm told she still thinks it was all hunky-dory in RC. I don't know of anyone who came out and considers herself injured, who went on to an order.
Posted by: Jeannette | January 06, 2012 at 02:36 PM
I have none but the most cursory familiarity with the 3gfs of Regnum Christi, but from what I understand, they have not been "formed" in the religious life (active or contemplative) as the Church has traditionally understood it. Any 3gf coming out of RC would need, in my estimation, a minimum of 2 or 3 years of life back in the "real world," hopefully with some intensive therapy and solid spiritual guidance, before looking into applying to a legitimate religious community.
Posted by: concerned | January 06, 2012 at 02:40 PM
Most of them leave the idea of consecration, and the few who persevere on it, think of consecrated virgins according to c. 606.
Posted by: Scipio Africanus | January 06, 2012 at 05:18 PM
It is sad that these young women were "formed" as part of a free sales force for reglegcorp, with some superficial religious training -- and not as serious Catholics, let alone as religious.
Posted by: Anon2020 | January 06, 2012 at 05:51 PM
Agree with you Anon, very scarce formation, they are like a virgin hard disk where any format can be written upon
Posted by: Scipio Africanus | January 06, 2012 at 06:02 PM
Thank you, Anon and Jeannette! By the way, what does 3gf mean?
Blessing to you all! ;)
Posted by: shalimamma | January 06, 2012 at 07:40 PM
3rd degree feminine (grada feminina, in Spanish, I believe). There are "consecrated" men as well, whom I believe would be 3gm's?
Posted by: giselle | January 06, 2012 at 07:42 PM
A blessed Christmas and Holy New Year to all.
Another good resource I recommend I is the book "Boundaries" by evangelical protestant psychologists Dr. Jon Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud.
Posted by: pete vere | January 06, 2012 at 11:30 PM
Shalimamma,
They aren't the same thing as Consecrated Virgins Living in the World ala Canon 604, so I call them 3gf (third degree/grado female) so no one gets them confused with "real" Consecrated Virgins.
Posted by: Jeannette | January 07, 2012 at 01:13 AM
Or you could just call them the "un-consecrated" -- which is what they are.
In a posting last year, an expert explained the deception of using the term "consecrated".
But a group that will use the Holy Name of Jesus as a sales ploy -- will do just about anything.
Posted by: Anon2020 | January 07, 2012 at 09:52 AM
Anon2020,
Taking the high road has its advantages.
Posted by: Jeannette | January 07, 2012 at 05:22 PM
Debra Murphy's articles on cult like tendencies were very helpful to me at the time the scandal broke. I remember the guilt I felt reading them realizing that she was making some excellent points. Her writings helped open my eyes....
http://catholicexchange.com/author/debramurphy/
Posted by: Anon out of RC | January 08, 2012 at 10:45 AM
Wow, thank you for that insight! That sums up the 'consecrated' definition very wel, as far as what it is, and what it is not... I am so thankful for your help!
Posted by: shalimamma | January 09, 2012 at 11:41 AM
I have never heard of any former 3gf entering another order, but I do faintly recall hearing of a girl entering the cloister, but I think she left the 3gf either after candidacy or fairly early in her 3gf life.
Personally, I had the idea that I couldn't enter another order, because in my letter from MM telling me I was free to go, he made it quit clear that I was leaving consecrated life forever. For someone with little real formation in how these things work, I just took it as a given that I couldn't enter into "consecrated" life in any form after leaving the 3gf. I don't know if others had the same experience.
Posted by: observer | January 09, 2012 at 05:34 PM